Melissa Barker-Simpson

Just for fun, I took one of those novelty writing tests. The ones that claim to analyse a section of text in order to compare you to a famous writer. Apparently I write in a similar style to Chuck Palahniuk, the writer who penned Fight Club. It’s an interesting comparison, but one I didn’t take too seriously.

I did, however, do a little research on the work of Mr Palahniuk and stumbled upon the official fan site. There was a rather fun personality test posted by one of its members, under recent discussions. I couldn’t resist answering the questions, and decided to share them with you. You can find the test here.

Does a spider in a hooded fleece sweatshirt make it adorable, or extra spooky?

Depends. Is the spider also wearing a backpack?

You wake up on an island, alone. What’s your initial response?

What the hell happened last night?

Do you laugh at inappropriate times out of nervousness?

ROFLMAO

Nothing exists in the universe except you and a pine cone. What do you name it?

Percy?

Finish this sentence: “Well fuck, if I’d known that I would have…eaten the other one”

Take a cheap shot at your least favorite person.

I don’t do anything cheaply.

Something you know that you’re pretty sure most others don’t is…my trousers are too tight!
Your vehicle mechanic tells you your car is a son-of-a-bitch, are you offended?

I’m more worried than offended. My car can take care of herself.

Cats or dogs?

Cats.

Is existence limited to perception?

More to the point, if a tree falls in a forest when no one is around, does it make a sound?

Your favorite past time.

That really isn’t hard to figure out.

If you give yourself a standing ovation, what does that make you?

A narcissist?

Fight or flight?

Fight.

One of two cartoons on repeat for the remainder of your lifetime: Spongebob Squarepants, or Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers.

It would have to be Chip and Dale. I don’t have anything against Spongebob, but that laugh…bah..bah…bah…bah…can you hear it? SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP.

A unique personality test, and I’m not sure what it says about me – but it was fun. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever been asked?

Thanks for reading

Mel