IΒ  know I’ve posted enough today, but as I was visiting a few of the contributors to Stream of Consciousness Saturday, I couldn’t resist a challenge posed by Doobster over at Mindful Digressions. In response to the prompt (the incorporation of scene or seen), Doobster wrote a piece ofΒ flash fiction. Readers of the story were curious about what happened next and the challenge is simple – continue where the story left off andΒ either complete the tale or keep it going. I’ve posted the original story below, and added an instalment beneath. If you would like to carry it on, please feel free.Β It’s the kind of ‘game’ I can never resist!

I seen it all

Trying not to panic, Ralph’s eyes darted all around the busy sidewalk in search of his younger cousin, Henry. Ralph knew that Henry wasn’t quite all there, but he had promised his Aunt Sarah that he would take her son with him when he took the bus into the city that Saturday.

Henry had been walking right behind Ralph just a few seconds earlier, but he seemed to have disappeared into the throng of people on the sidewalk. Ralph was feeling frantic. He started to walk back in the direction they’d just come from, glancing from side to side hoping to catch sight of his cousin.

And then he saw Henry running awkwardly toward him. β€œHey Ralphie, Ralphie!” Excited and out-of-breath, Henry leaned his head up against Ralph’s shoulder once he caught up with him.

β€œRalphie, I seen the whole thing,” Henry said, breathlessly.

β€œHuh?” Ralph said. β€œWhat did you see?”

β€œThe whole thing, Ralphie. I seen the whole thing,” Henry repeated, still trying to catch his breath.

β€œWhat whole thing, Henry? What the hell are you talking about?” Ralph pushed Henry, whose head was still nestled into Ralph’s shoulder, away from him. Then he placed both of his arms on Henry’s shoulders and looked into his cousin’s eyes. β€œCalm down, Henry, and tell me what you saw.”

β€œI seen HER,” Henry said, brimming over with excitement. β€œI seen HER,” he repeated.

β€œWho’s β€˜her’?” Ralph asked. β€œWho did you see?”

β€œI don’t know who she is,” Henry admitted. β€œBut I seen her, Ralphie. I seen her back there.” Henry turned and pointed to the intersection behind him.

Ralph had never seen Henry this manic and it worried him. He wondered exactly who or what Henry had seen.

β€œHenry, can you show me who you saw?” Ralph said in a voice as calm and quiet as he could muster.

β€œI’ll show you what I seen, Ralphie,” Henry said. β€œCome with me.” Henry grabbed Ralph’s hand and pulled him in the direction from which he had just come running.

They walked to the corner and Henry pulled Ralph to the right. Ralph saw that the side street was blocked off about a third of the way down the block by several blue police barricades. A crowd of maybe 20 people had gathered around the wooden barriers.

β€œThat’s where I seen her, Ralphie,” Henry blurted out, pointing to where the onlookers stood.

They walked toward the crowd and Henry pointed to the center of what was clearly a crime scene. The cops were attaching yellow police tape to the barricades to create a perimeter. In the middle was the body of a young woman.

β€œThat’s her, Ralphie, that’s the woman I seen.”

β€œHenry, did you see what happened to her” Ralph asked.

β€œYeah, Ralphie,” Henry responded. β€œI seen the whole thing.”

Ralph again grabbed Henry by the shoulders and looked straight into his eyes. β€œHenry, this is important. Did you see what happened to her?”

Now agitated, Henry responded, β€œYes, Ralphie. That’s what I just said. I seen the whole thing. I seen what happened to her.”

β€œHenry, will you tell the policeman what you saw?”

β€œYes, Ralphie. I’ll tell him what I seen.”

This time it was Ralph who grabbed Henry’s hand. They walked to the nearest police officer.

β€œOfficer,” Ralph said.

The cop interrupted him. β€œThis is a crime scene, son. You need to move on.”

β€œOfficer,” Ralph said again. β€œMy cousin says he saw what happened to the woman.”

The cop looked the two of them over. He seemed skeptical. β€œWait here,” he said and walked over to another man who was not wearing a uniform. The cop and plain-clothed policeman glanced back that the two teenage boys.

The plain-clothed man approached the two boys. β€œI’m Detective Morrisey,” he said when he reached them. β€œDid you two see what happened here?”

Henry stood as tall as he could. β€œMe!” he said proudly. β€œIt was me. I seen the whole thing. I seen it all.”


“What did you see, son?” Detective Morrisey asked, eyes narrowed, attention sharp.

“I seen them.” Henry paused, as though remembering something important.Β “I seen them.” The light in his expression dimmed a little. When he turned to Ralph he looked afraid. “They hurt her, Ralphie. She tried to get away, but they hurt her.”

“It’s okay, Henry. The police-”

“I seen it all,” Henry interrupted, his voice shaking. “I seen it all and they seen me.”

Ralph glanced around, the ominous echo of his cousin’s words rippling along his skin. When his gaze fell on Detective Morrisey, he saw the officer signalling to another plain clothed on the scene.

“Why don’t we step over here,” the detective said, in a voice thatΒ set Ralph’s nerves on edge. “You can tell us exactly what you saw.”

Ralph grabbed his cousin’s hand again as they followed the detective to a spot behind the tape, away from theΒ gathering crowd. “It’ll be okay, Henry,” he said,Β trying to reassure them both. “You tell them whatΒ happened and we can get out of here.”

“I see them,” his cousin whispered. “I see them and they see me.”

Ignoring the prickling sensation at the back of his neck, Ralph held Henry’s hand a little tighter. There were dozens of eyes on them, heΒ could feel theΒ curious attention burning into his back.Β It was natural, he told himself, forcing his feet to move. It was perfectly natural toΒ be shaken byΒ whatΒ Henry had seen. It didn’t mean they were in danger. They were doing the right thing.


If you want to join in, continue the story from where I left off.Β Don’t leave me hanging – I’m curious to know what will happen to Henry and Ralph!

Thanks for stopping by

Mel

12 responses to “Let’s play a game of writing tag”

  1. Doobster418 Avatar

    Very nice. Thanks for taking up the challenge. Now you’ve got me curious. Are the cousins in danger? Will the men who killed the woman try to silence the only witness?

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      lol – who knows where the story will go. I’m dying to find out too! I really do hope someone continues, otherwise I might have to settle my own curiosity and let the boys take over πŸ˜€

  2. callummclaughlin Avatar

    What a cool idea. A really interesting kind of collaboration πŸ™‚

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Yeah – potentially a little complicated, but fun!

  3. Gayle Mullen Pace Avatar

    I took the challenge and added to the story. Since I’ve never done this before, how do I proceed?

    1. Gayle Mullen Pace Avatar

      I uploaded Part 3 of the story to my blog and included a link back here to parts 1 and 2. If you prefer, I can include parts 1 and 2.on my page as well.

  4. […] follow Michelle Barker-Simpson’s blog and she posted […]

  5. JoAnne Silvia Avatar

    I like the emotion here. My imagination got going with the original, so I let it run a bit.

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      It is a great piece, and I enjoy this kind of mind melding!

  6. Mishka Jenkins Avatar

    Oh, loving this! Wish I had time to participate, it gets my creativeness flowing πŸ˜€

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Yeah, I like opportunities like this – the ones that come up spur of the moment and I can’t resist! πŸ™‚

  7. […] Melissa Barker-Simpson wrote not only that Henry had seen what happened to the woman, but that those who killed the woman had also seen him. Uh oh. Were Henry and his older cousin Ralph in imminent danger? […]

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