A long time coming – update on Brothers in Arms

At long last, Brothers in Arms, the third installment of the Morgan and Fairchild series, is ready to go to print. When I started the book, I had a clear picture of where I wanted it to go, which is pretty rare for me. Perhaps that is the reason I had so manyΒ problems writing it!

You may remember, but I wrote a short story as part of a story a dayΒ in September of last year. It was my intention to release the story as a novella – a prequel to Brothers in Arms. Then, during another round of editing, a round in which my characters drove me absolutely crazy because they were not playing ball, I discovered some elements of the short story worked better as part of the main novel. So I took what I needed from it, reworked things,Β and IΒ finally have something I’m happy with.

That said, IΒ still need a little help.Β I settled on a synopsis I can live with (I always dread the blurb), but it would be great if you could offer feedback before I commit and press go!

morgan and fairchild

So here it is…the blurb for Brothers in Arms:

Four years ago, Andrew Butcher dropped off the grid. Now he is back, and determined to reconnect with his family. But Andrew is playing a dangerous game. In accepting the position as head of security for a known criminal, he risks alienating those he respects and admires – starting with his cousin, Kelvin Fairchild.

Kelvin is well aware that Andrew is haunted by the ghosts of his past, and he is prepared to let Andrew fight the demons in his own way. That is, until he learns Andrew’s secrets. As their paths collide, Kelvin finally understands that his cousin faces a very real threat. The kind of danger that has repercussions for them all.

At the centre of it all, a missing teenager fights for her life. She is the key to bringingΒ the pieces together; Kelvin and his obsession with a woman hiding a terrible secret; Justin Chambers, a member of his team on a personal mission, and Ellen Parker – the fiery protector.

Ellen is a former Troop Commander with the Royal Artillery. In her role at Morgan and Fairchild, she has a reputation for being tough, loyal, and someone who always gets the job done. Andrew and Ellen share a past, one she would sooner forget. But circumstances force her hand, and though Ellen tries to resist, every road leads back to Andrew and a case that will change everything.

***

What do you think? Does it make you want to read it?Β Any feedback is appreciated.

At the end of the week I will beΒ posting a cover reveal. I intend to publish Brothers inΒ Arms on the 30 January 2016,Β and if anyone is interested in helping withΒ a release post, I would appreciate that too.

Thanks in advance.

Mel

31 responses to “A long time coming – update on Brothers in Arms”

  1. Silver Threading Avatar
    Silver Threading

    I think it sounds exciting and I have not read any of the material. I want to know more, definitely!!! Of course, you know I will be happy to assist in any way I can. I love being part of your release parties. Way to go, Mel!!! ❀

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks so much, Colleen πŸ™‚ that’s awesome β™‘β™‘

  2. Charles Yallowitz Avatar

    I like how the blurb starts, but each paragraph seems to be an isolated rollercoaster. It starts, rises, and ends on tension. Almost like there are four different stories that are going on, but Andrew is the most important because he came first. Weird as it sounds, paragraphs 2-3 seem almost too much. #1 is powerful and works off the idea that this is the continuation of a series. That and Ellen kind of comes out of left field at the end.

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Hmm, l didnt think of that (clearly). The problem is, there are a few things happening at the same time and I wanted to reflect that. But Andrew is one of the most important, as is Elle. So maybe I should just use their paragraphs and cut the others. Thanks, Charles – I really appreciate the feedback πŸ™‚

      1. Charles Yallowitz Avatar

        You’re welcome. Maybe combine their paragraphs. The first and last lines of Andrew’s paragraph was great.

      2. mbarkersimpson Avatar

        I’ll tinker with it and see what I can do to work out the kinks πŸ˜€ Thanks again.

      3. Charles Yallowitz Avatar

        You’re welcome. Hope I helped and didn’t cause trouble.

      4. mbarkersimpson Avatar

        You helped a lot πŸ˜€

  3. TanGental Avatar

    I like the blurb though see what Charles means,. Personally I’d keep the missing girl as it adds an intrigue. I imagine can tie into Ellen. Maybe skip para two which feels isolated and link the other three?
    Not sure what you have in mind with a release post but always willing to help a fellow indie.

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks, Geoff – for both the feedback and the offer of help. I was just going to provide a release post with links, excerpt and the like. Nothing fancy! πŸ˜€ As for the blurb – I’ll play around some more!

  4. callummclaughlin Avatar

    Well it certainly got me hyped πŸ™‚ I’ve been anticipating this release since reading books one & two, and look forward to the cover reveal.

    As for feedback, I don’t think I could add much aside from what’s already been said. I’m sure you’ll iron out any little kinks πŸ™‚

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks, Callum πŸ™‚ I’ll keep working at it. And thanks for the wonderful compliment.

  5. Jacqui Murray Avatar

    There are some fascinating pieces there. Off the grid and then back… Head of Security for a criminal… Wonderful details.

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks, Jacqui πŸ™‚ hopefully it will all come together!

      1. Jacqui Murray Avatar

        It sounds like it already is.

  6. www.ginabriganti.com Avatar

    Mel, I’m excited to read it! My feedback about the blurb is that it is a bit long. I know you’ll be able to pare it down without losing tension.

    Sign me up for a release day post!

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      That’s awesome πŸ™‚ thanks so much, Gina

  7. Rebecca Bradley Avatar

    I think the book sounds great! but as has already been mentioned, the blurb maybe a bit long… Would you be interested in doing my first draft Q&A where at the end we add your three most important links and the blurb and cover of your book? X

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks, Rebecca πŸ™‚ I would love to do the Q&A x

      1. Rebecca Bradley Avatar

        Great! Let me have your email and I’ll send you everything I need. I’d love to have you on the blog xx

      2. mbarkersimpson Avatar

        Thanks so much πŸ™‚ my email is mbarkersimpson(at)gmail(dot)com xx

      3. Rebecca Bradley Avatar

        I’ll drop you an email later today or over the weekend X

  8. Rebecca Bradley Avatar

    Oh, it runs on a Friday.

  9. The Story Reading Ape Avatar

    Great Blurb Mel – but too long for the back of a book cover πŸ˜€
    Paras 1 & 2, possibly 3 as well – but as said above, the last para is too many πŸ˜€

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks, Chris πŸ˜€ I’ll ditch a paragraph (or two) and see what I can come up with πŸ˜€

  10. Helen Jones Avatar

    Hi Melissa – congratulations on finishing your latest book! I’d be very happy to help with a release post, just let me know when πŸ™‚ And I agree with Chris in that the blurb is a little long for the back of a book – however, it sounds like a great story! xx

    1. mbarkersimpson Avatar

      Thanks so much, Helen. Anytime on or after the 30th would be terrific. I’ll get the information to you. And thanks for the feedback on the blurb πŸ™‚ xx

      1. Helen Jones Avatar

        You’re very welcome, Melissa. And yes, please do let me know, I’d be happy to do a post for you xx

      2. mbarkersimpson Avatar

        Lovely πŸ™‚ I’ll email the details xx

I’d love to hear from you.

I’m Melissa

Welcome to my website and blog! I’m happy you’re here. Stay a while and look around. You will find information on my books, latest posts and information about the worlds I create.