#BlogBattle is a weekly writing challenge organised by Rachael Ritchey. You can find more information about it here. It’s a fun battle, and a supportive group – a great place to hang out! The theme this week is ‘LEGUMES’.
The temperature in the small room dropped to bearable as Darren Yates gave his presentation. It was a practice run, and Sean had heard a variation of the pitch a dozen times. He was tired of listening to his colleagues gripe at each other. All he wanted was a long, hot shower; a cool, tall beer, and a long, interrupted sleep. That’s what he thought about as Darren droned on about marketing and production. Sean hadn’t slept in thirty six hours. He was still wearing yesterday’s suit, and had breathed the same air as these bozos for long enough. All they needed was a name. A simple name, and he could get the hell out.
“So,” Darren said, reaching the end of his presentation. “It’s entertaining, commercially viable and, most importantly, it’s unique. We did it.” His smile was a touch on the manic side. “I think we have ourselves a hit.”
“Let’s not get carried away.” Gordon stroked the rough stubble on his chin.
Sean’s gaze followed the action; the grating sound seemed to punctuate his feelings exactly. His colleagues were getting on his last nerve.
“Do I have to remind you that you came up with the Beetroot Parade?” Gordon continued, hiding his smile behind his hand.
Darren’s colour turned a shade to rival the vegetable. “It was a good idea.” He slammed his hands down on the desk. “I’m so tired of your sanctimonious bullshit. The beetroot is a titan, and the concept was solid. You wouldn’t know how to appeal to kids if I bought you a red suit and gave you a set of instructions.”
“Have you both finished?” Sean asked. “We were given forty eight hours and our time is almost up. All we have to do is come up with a name.”
Gordon narrowed his eyes, pointing a finger at Darren. “If you say anything related to pod people, so help me god, I’ll-”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Darren waved the comment away. “It needs to be something simple, something catchy. What about….Legumes?”
Silence descended on the room, a blessed relief from all the griping. Then Gordon began to laugh, the sound so genuine Sean could only blink in surprise. He waited for the other shoe to drop, for Darren to jump over the table and shove the pitch down Gordon’s throat. But in never happened. In fact, Darren started laughing too, and pretty soon they were all howling like lunatics.
“It’s perfect,” Gordon said, rising to clap Darren on the shoulder. “This will be the best damn series we ever wrote. I mean it fits. The whole leguminous thing, it’s genius. If you think about the-”
“All right. Save your enthusiasm for the execs.” Sean smoothed down his jacket. “Let’s go pitch the hell out of this show.”
They walked out of the office together, Darren already rabbiting about a tagline. All Sean heard was evolutionary crop and his brain tuned out again. There would be time to celebrate when they sold their crazy plot.
“Best team ever,” Gordon said, shooting a thumbs up to the receptionist.
Until we have to write the damn thing, Sean thought, but he smiled and followed his friends.
I’m not sure where I was going with this! Legumes as the name for a TV show, even if some crazy alien/horror plot doesn’t exactly strike me as a hit (though writers can pitch just about anything!) Lucy had a much better idea for the name – you can find her story here. It’s hilarious!
Thanks for stopping by.
Mel
Melissa Barker-Simpson 
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